Sexiest Woman of All Time, Lisa Ann
Before retiring from adult films 10 months ago, the 43-year-old Ann was the most searched for porn actress on the planet, according to the aggregator Pornhub, and appeared in more than 500 films, according to Wikiporno. She’s the rare adult film actress — in the mold of Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick — that has ascended from a living, breathing porn star into a sentient sexual fantasy. The week before our dinner, I spent two days following her around Manhattan as she prepped for her new career — fantasy sports guru. She hosts two weekly fantasy sports shows on Sirius XM.
Everywhere we went men trailed her as if attached by a magnet. She has the male psyche by the horns — a goddess of sports and sex. During a once-monthly hosting gig at the New York Comedy Club, one man arrived with a gift bag with paraphernalia of her beloved Dallas Cowboys. On stage just before a segment titled, “How would you pick up Lisa Ann at a bar?” — in which she invites a man on stage to attempt an imaginary bar scenario for a chance to win a sex toy, a molded replica of her vagina — he stood up and handed her the bag.
“That’s a polite way of saying he wants to f— me,” she told the crowd. Others stayed after the show to ask about her fantasy picks or just be in her presence.
In LA, the tour of her sprawling three-bedroom, four-story condo continues. On the second-floor landing, 15 or so crystal statuettes are carefully arranged. They’re immaculate, polished and glimmering in a proud display. The most prominent in the front (XRCO Hall of Fame inductee, AVN MILF of the Year award) and others toward the back (XRCO Best Cumback award, Urban X Best MILF Performance.) She lives alone, and most of the apartment is unused. “This is my hideaway,” she says.
She suddenly rushes downstairs and opens the oven. In the adjoining living room, the Notre Dame-Clemson game plays. Soon the scent of salmon sweeps through the air. She leans around the corner and smiles.
Lisa Ann’s rules for dating athletes
Lisa Ann has strict guidelines for her social life. Read more about her rules.
It almost feels like a date, like she’s trying to impress me in the opening moments of a seduction. But, of course, it’s not. She’s invited a “surprise” guest — a famous football player — to join us for dinner, one of her many conquests.
Take a look inside the life of Lisa Ann.
“She’s different,” a professional athlete and former lover told me. “She’s the type of person who takes command. If I need advice I’ll call her, and I listen to what she tells me.”
Over the years she stayed in touch with her conquests and has become so intertwined with certain franchises that her love affairs have gained her unprecedented access.
“I’ll sit in the family room or green room beforehand and start talking to play-by-play guys or coaches or agents that walk by,” she says. “Most of them think they’re going to f— me the whole time. And 99 percent of them never will, but I’m willing to fight that battle to get to know stuff about these teams.”